literature

Transparent Thoughts

Deviation Actions

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Literature Text

Disclaimer: I Don't own anything that relates to Jrock.. .-. So yea.


'There was a day when I could look at my so-called friends, and feel as if I was the happiest person alive. Now... well, now those days are gone.'

The man stared down at the piece of paper before him. The writing was somewhat readable, but who cared. Some drama was playing on the T.V., and the lady whining about how she lost her boyfriend was bugging him. The blonde sighed rubbing his temples with his index fingers.

Kyo got up and walked toward the door, kicking the newly broken phone out of his way while heading outside. Blonde strands of hair blowing wildly with the wind, he pulled up his jacket collar, shielding some of the cold air away from his face. Shoving his hands deep in the leather material of his pants. Exhaling deeply, he sat down at a bench in the middle of the park. Silently, he closed his eye's lighting up a cigarette, placing it to his lips taking a long drag before exhaling deeply, letting the smoke mix with the cold air. The taste of iron blood still lingered in his mouth.

"I told you to stop fighting with the rest of the band,!" Kaoru yelled at the vocalist. "Why don't you mind your own damn business Niikura!", the blonde yelled back, crossing his arms. "Kyo...your just so 'Ughh' sometimes... Why do you always have to be so damn stubborn?!" The purple haired man yelled back shooting a nasty glare at him. Kyo balled up his fist to try to calm himself. "Keep your damn thoughts to yourself!," he yelled giving his own nasty glare. "Why don't you be quiet and just listen once?!" He formed a fist of his own, as the older man swung his hand into the blonde's jaw, causing him to stumble back, as he was caught off guard.

Koaru hadn't of meant to hit him. "Kyo...I-," he started

"Shut the fuck up!" the blonde yelled, blood seeping out of his lip.

"Kyo...”

"I'm leaving... Don't ever touch me again."

The pain slightly came back, making his jaw line sting. He took one last, long, drag, before soon discarding the cigarette into the damp blades of grass.

It started to drizzle and the blonds’ spiky hair soon became limp. He sneezed softly followed by a quick sniffle. ' I should go home before I get sick... tch... who would care if I did any ways...' He sighed while getting up. The man started to walk but something took over making Kyo's left leg give out. He fell to the grass. The cold wet blades brushed against his face. He cursed himself for still being alive.

The drizzling started to turn to rain as it started to dig into the singer's back. His hands started shaking, and his body would twitch every now and then to keep from freezing to death. He dug into the ground while trying to lift himself. His arms started shaking, and then they finally gave way, dropping the singers body to the ground helplessly..

'There right...maybe... I am nothing but uselessness...with such a meaningless life.'
"I WISH IT WOULD ALL JUST END!" he yelled, feeling even more miserable.

"Kyo get up!," the older man yelled yanking on his arm, leaving Kyo still sitting there as he stared blankly at him. "Don't look at me like your an idiot!" he yanked on his arm again.

"Get your hands off me!," he yelled, pulling his arm away. "Didn't I tell you to never fucking touch me again?!"

"You better watch what you say to me," he growled at him. "So what, are you the fucking king now? Too high on your fucking throne for anyone to talk to you, as if they disagree!" The vocalist now stood face to face with him "Well you need to step down." The blonde finally growled out.

'They had been butting heads for over a week now. Yelling, arguing, sometimes even... hitting each other.'

"Your nothing but a pile of crap," he finally spoke. "So why don't you just go home, your not wanted here!," Kaoru finished.
"Fine then, I quit!" he yelled, although he didn't mean it. He grabbed his duffle bag and headed towards the door.

"Kyo... you just can't quit..," a voice called to him, it belonged to the basest. "The hell I can't!" he yelled finally slamming the door, walking back to his apartment. Once he got there he threw his duffle bag at the wall which only resulted in a crack. He threw himself on the couch shoving his face into the pillow before him.

'He didn't mean it...'


The man felt that his chest would rip apart anytime. He gave one last effort to get up his hopes up. He got to his knees, once again started walking back to his apartment. He stepped into the street, in a half dazed state, not noticing the car coming.

' The phone rang waking him up from his sleep '

"Hello?" he answered in the half groggy state.
"Kyo...”The other voice answered, it was Kaoru. "I just wanted to tell you... I'm sorr-" The blonde gripped the phone hard. "The hell you are!," he yelled into the receiver whilst hanging up. He threw that damned phone into the wall, snapping it in two, the pieces scattered across the floor.'


The car honked loudly, leaving Kyo to stare stupidly to what was actually coming towards him. His mind shouted 'Move, Idiot Move!." But his body stood still, leaving the car to slam into the side of his body, and soon he found himself hitting the pavement. Hard. Warmth started to gather around his knee. He felt pain everywhere. He did the only thing someone in his position would do. He let out a hoarse wail of pain.

The man stepped out of the car. "Kyo?!," the purple haired man yelled as he felt panic rising in him. "Somebody call an ambulance!," he yelled loud enough so that a couple across the street could here. "It's okay you'll be alright." That was a lie....he tried to plead with the screaming Kyo, trying to comfort him in every way possible.


The blonde's breath quickened, soon he started to show gaps between each breath. Leaving his eye's to roll back every now and then. "Kyo, stay with me..," he said hitting his cheeks softly. Bringing some of the breath back. Kaoru swallowed the lump that seemed to be stuck in his throat, he held back his tears as best he could.

The sirens of the ambulance echoed off the walls once it had arrived. Kyo had laid there lifeless and cold, a note visible in his pocket.

'I didn't even know why I quit.. I guess a heat of the moment thing.... But I wrote this to tell you.. I'm tired, just so fucking tired of everything, So I'm saying I give up. I give up on my pathetic life... I'm just there for everyone's pity ... tonight.... Its all going to end... I can finally be happy...I don't want anymore of your fucking pity!...'


Koaru swallowed the dry, bitter taste in his mouth, letting tears freely run down his face.” I’m sorry.."


' still now falling apart., days I laughed, holding back the tears., the heart showed me there was no reason to believe. ,the hypocrite who killed me'


A/N : I wrote this because I have been going threw some depression in my life, The lyrics at the bottom are from Mushi, also another reason for writing this is so I could maybe find another chapter for my other
Well, You see I Have found out you can enter WRITTING =O woah.. -the lameness continue's- Lmao... But hey This has to do with dir en grey and if you don't like kyo, koaru, or shonen ai ish bleh then DO NOT READ Woah after you read xD; yeah what help...

-As I find a decent looking picture to put up here with out my mum suddenly looking at me weird-xD;

Edit: Woah this is gunna come off realy hard to read with it being writting like this IF you wanna see the version that would be easier to read just click this link.

( [link] )

But I need help with my writting so anyone care to help?
© 2006 - 2024 hyperkitsune
Comments6
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Sana-sama's avatar
I like this!....but I must say...You misspelled 'Kaoru's name...sorry, just me being the Diru fan. Otherwise...I could totally see Kyo doing that...he very nearly did this last year, but it was against from the fans, not from the band.